This is going to be a post raw & full of emotion. A post I’ve been needing to to write for quite some time, yet always come up short with words.
It has been over 2.5 years since my last photography blog post. There have been busy times, slow times, happy times, heartbreaking times, stressed times & overwhelmed times but through it all, I’ve been blessed.
After years of doing photography, three years ago, we opened up a studio here in Elkhorn, WI. It was a dream come true, approximately 3000 sq ft of studio space & 1000 sq ft for our photography prop business. Both of these businesses really kept me on my toes along with homeschooling our older 2 children (Caleb who has Aspergers & SPD & our Claira girl, whom you will read more about.) I also gave birth to our sweetie EdieJane. She was born screaming & continued to scream 18 hours a day for the first 2 years of her life. Caring for a baby that cries non-stop all day, every day for 2 years straight is enough to make any sane person a little crazy. My husband Chris quit his full time job to be at home to help with the businesses and the children as I couldn’t keep up with homeschooling 2 children, running 2 very busy businesses and a non-stop screaming baby. Edie was later diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and with therapy & help from mommy & daddy she has learned to self regulate and only has occasional meltdowns. In the midst of EJ’s screaming, our sweet Claira was diagnosed with a vaccine injury that completely took away every bit of her sparkle & shine. She had sudden onset of OCD, anxiety, SPD & more. To watch the sparkle & shine be suddenly stolen from your 5 year old & be replaced with terrifying thoughts is one of the worst feelings of helplessness a parent can experience. Then, last year….September 2nd, 2014 happened. A day we will never forget. The day we lost the life of our precious baby boy and the day I almost lost my life. I was just shy of 12 weeks pregnant when I began to hemorrhage and was in such excruciating pain I could not move. I was rushed into emergency surgery where I lost my baby and my one of my fallopian tubes. We were absolutely devastated!! We named out little guy Theadore Yates *Teddy* and there isn’t a day that goes by that my heart doesn’t ache for him & my arms yearn to hold him. With all of these things literally piling up, the wind was just taken out of my sails, my soul crushed. My mama heart couldn’t take ANY more. I have not been able to focus on my passion for photography or my prop business, I had hit ROCK BOTTOM, I had no passion to give. Both of our businesses are now so slow that we aren’t able to make ends meet. We are selling our home of 8 years and may be moving out of my “dream” studio. We do not know what the next step is for our family is, but we are sure to re-focus our energy on ALL THINGS POSITIVE, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and move FORWARD.
For anyone who knows me or has read my previous post, you know that my entire heart & soul go into my art…every last ounce of energy that I have. The last few years have been a struggle for me as I want to put all I am into my work but my spirit has been so sorrowful and broken. I am a firm believer in giving it everything you’ve got or not doing it at all. I’ve not been shooting as much as my creative heart needs. I’ve been struggling to deal with the plate full of negative I’ve been served. I am now choosing to refocus on all of the wonderful things in life, all of the positive things and let those negative things fade away.
I’m now ready to pour myself back into what I love, my passion for capturing the spirit of each individual that comes in front of my camera. This is what makes my heart and soul happy.
Please watch the blog for posts of some of the sessions I have “missed” posting over the last 2.5 years.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read!!
I look forward to capturing your memories. ♥
Much ♥ ~ Julie MayRee